Last year (and early this year) I did quite a bit of travel, both around Australia and overseas. Over this period I’ve come to realise a few things about travel that might be different to how it’s often promoted online. Of course, these experiences might not be universal, but they are ones that I’ve felt myself and I suspect others who are in my position might feel. So, without further ado, here they are:

It pays to get out of your comfort zone

In the past, when I traveled, I often looked for comfort and luxury. A nice, soft bed, a luxurious bath and gorgeous views are certainly a welcome experience, but if that’s your focus when traveling then you may be robbing yourself of other experiences. The problem is that all this luxury and comfort comes at a cost, and unless you have money to burn then spending money on such things will make travel much more prohibitive. Many people will say that they can’t afford to travel, and while that can be true it often means that they’re focusing on the expensive parts of travel without realising that they can make their dollar go further by roughing it a bit. Staying in hostels instead of hotels is a good start: they tend to be cheaper and some can be really nice too even if it isn’t The Ritz. You can even budget things like food and excursions, though I wouldn’t recommend missing out on any experiences, only assess which ones you feel are worth spending money on. Looking for deals or using reward points can be useful and may even net you some bonus luxury for next to nothing: on my last trip I was able to stay in two luxury hotels over seven night total for only a combined value of $AU45 through a combination of Black Friday sales and reward points I earned from previous stays back when I had more money. I may not find such an opportunity again, but it just goes to show that it is possible. Otherwise, just be prepared to lessen your expenses a bit and you may find that you are able to travel further.

Travel can be isolating

If you’re socially awkward like me and find it difficult to make friends, then travel may not fix this: in fact, it might feel even more lonely than back home. You’ll see many people on holiday: groups, friends, couples, families, all laughing and playing, while you yourself are on your own. This can be confronting if you’ve bought into the myth that travel will connect you with every other traveler you come across, and may even lead to disillusionment. If you want to enjoy solo travel, try not to focus too much on others, and instead focus on your own experiences. Take a tour, visit a museum, swim at a beach or just explore. The feelings of loneliness may still be there, but once you get into the swing of the adventure those feelings can be minimised. Along the way you might meet fellow travelers, which brings me to my next point.

You will meet lots of people, but may not make any friends

This one was a big lesson for me. People used to tell me how they made so many friends while traveling, which encouraged me to go out and explore myself. When that didn’t work, they told me that I was just traveling wrong. I should stay in hostels instead of hotels, they said, and then I’ll meet lots of people and make lots of friends! Well, having stayed in hostels I can say that the first part is true and the second part isn’t. You’ll definitely meet lots of people when traveling, and especially when staying in hostels, but this might not lead to many, if any, friendships. The people you might meet may be friendly, whether genuine or just for social niceties, but often (in my experience) they’ll have no interest in getting to know you or keeping in touch. The rest of the time people will be in their own little groups and cliques, completely oblivious to your existence. The fact is that unless you’re some amazingly charismatic extrovert who everyone wants to be around, don’t expect that travel will net you the friendships that eluded you back home. Accept that any person you meet and chat with might be gone from your life after today, and that for this instant your need for social interaction was sated. If the person wants to stay in touch, then that’s great, but be prepared for the possibility that you’re just two vessels meeting at one moment in time, and maybe the pain of loneliness might end up lower.

Even if they add you on social media, it doesn’t mean they’ll stay in touch

Let’s say that your interactions while traveling do lead to you both exchanging details such as social media handles. Perhaps you feel that you’ve made a potential contact who you’ll be able to meet up with next time you are heading through their neck of the woods. Sadly, even if they let you add them on social media they may not stay in touch or read your content. Even if you message them to let them know you’ll be visiting their town and want to catch up, chances are they’ll tell you they’re ‘too busy’ and they have a ‘thing’ on, or even just not reply (though you’ll be able to tell that they’ve ‘seen’ the message). Sadly, these people were never going to be your long-distance friends, and either just added you out of some fake politeness or just an easy way to boost their follower count. That said, there are times where someone may come along who actually relates to you and wants to stay in touch, and maybe even travel with you in the future. It happens, but don’t expect that everyone you might add is going to be so reliable. There have been so many times where I added people I met while traveling on Facebook and Instagram who would find some excuse not to meet up with me when I was in their area, and it became disheartening at one point when about eight separate people made excuses not to meet up. In the end, I’ve found it’s best not to chase after unreliable people like that, and while it’s OK to leave plans open for any potential meetups, you shouldn’t base your travel plans on meeting people who were never really your friends in the first place.

You’ll see how different people are

If you’ve never traveled, it’s easy to think that your way of life is the default. Once you start exploring you start to experience the different ways that people live. This can be differences in language and culture, to small things like driving on the other side of the road, or different lifestyles due to geographic location and climate. For example, here in Australia our summers are from December through to February, and our Christmas’s are often hot, usually involving barbecues or visits to the beach. We know about snowy, white Christmas’s from foreign media but it’s something many of us haven’t actually experienced in person. Now, obviously you’d hope that someone coming here would do their research before trying to book a snowy winter vacation in Australia in December, but the point still stands: things aren’t going to be the same as back home. Another example: when visiting a Subway in the US I once asked for tomato sauce on my sandwich not realising that this wasn’t a common term over there and instead I should call it ketchup. More recently I was in a restaurant in Honolulu and asked the staff if I could have a serviette to wipe up a spilled drink. After some confusion I described what I meant and she said ‘Oh, you mean a napkin!’. These are obviously just low level differences based on weather and language, but there are also other differences in culture, customs, and traditions which may be very different from back home, depending on where you travel to. The key thing is to approach it with an open mind, and be respectful of these differences. Obviously you don’t want to be tolerant of anything harmful or cruel, but being open to different ways of doing things or seeing the world will ‘broaden your mind’, so to speak.

You’ll also see how similar we all are

Likewise, it can be easy for someone who hasn’t traveled to have preconceived stereotypes in mind when thinking about other countries and peoples. If all you’ve been exposed to of another country is from TV and the Internet, then it’s easy to think of all Australians as beer-drinking crocodile hunters, or all Americans as loud gun-toting rednecks, or all French people as arrogant anti-English snobs, and so on. But once you go and see these places for yourself, you’ll find that these stereotypes are, well, just stereotypes, and that people aren’t really that different to you or I once you get to know them. Maybe the language is different, and they might have different traditions, but we all laugh, eat, chat and feel emotions the same no matter where we come from. As an example of what I’m talking about, I once heard someone insist that Americans don’t understand ironic humour, yet I’ve met as many Americans who do have a sense of irony as I have Australians and Brits who don’t. Humour isn’t based on nationality, and you can find it all over the world. Once again, the importance of keeping an open mind comes into play. When I visited the US last year a few locals said they’d love to visit Australia but they were worried if people would hate them for being American. I told them that you just need to be respectful and keep an open mind and people will welcome you. Come in like the place is a theme park and laugh at the ‘crazy foreigners’ and you’ll most likely meet some resentment. This is true of anyone visiting anywhere (especially Australians traveling overseas since we can be like that too, unfortunately). Just leave your expectations about what people are like back home, and you will probably be pleasantly surprised at how alike we all are in the end.

You may not enjoy it at the time, but you’ll look back on it fondly

I have to be honest and say that there have been many times when traveling that I just didn’t enjoy myself. I felt like I wasn’t up to it, or that it wasn’t meeting my expectations, or there was some incident that ruined the experience for me. Yet, after this moment passed, I did enjoy myself and my adventures, and looking back, while I acknowledge the bad times, I feel overall that the experiences were positive ones. For that reason, I would say to anyone traveling who is going through a rough time and feels it isn’t working, I’d say give it another chance. Things might come together tomorrow or the next day, and you’ll actually feel like you’re having an adventure, which will be the thing you take away when it’s all over. You may end up adjusting your overall journey like I did last year, or just taking a day to rest and readjust, but don’t give up entirely, because in the end the regret of having the opportunity to experience the world and not taking it is worse than those moments of doubt.

You’ll find out what you are truly capable of

This goes back to my previous point, as well as my first point about getting out of your comfort zone. The reason I booked hotels instead of hostels was because I felt like I wouldn’t cope with the crowd in hostels: I was too introverted, too socially awkward, too old and just not the type of person who would cope with sleeping in a dorm room with other people. Going further back, when I went on my first overseas trip to Europe, I was filled with doubts as to whether I would be able to survive half-way round the world from home on my own. Yet I did these things anyway, and not only did I get through unscathed but I proved to myself that I was much more capable than I thought I was. Perhaps you’ll find yourself in another country with unreliable public transportation, and the best way for you to get around is to rent a car and drive. This can be daunting at first, but once you’ve done it you’ll be glad you did, and you’ll be proud of what you can achieve if you just give it a try.

You might become addicted

So you’ve finished your first trip. You’re relieved to be back and proud of what you’ve accomplished, but also sad that it’s over. Then comes that urge: you want to go again. Of course things like time, money and commitments take priority, but you’ll probably be planning that next holiday, even a small one, once the previous one is a memory. If this is the case, then don’t feel bad about it or let anyone put you down for it: where others collect designer shoes and sports cars, your passion is for seeing the world and experiencing all it has to offer. In the end, when we’re all on our own deathbeds, no one’s going to care how many luxury yachts we owned or how much unpaid overtime we put in at work. But the memories and the experiences we had: that will mean something to us in the end, so feel free to make as many as you can.

Remember, it isn’t a competition

You might see some people on social media who are always jet-setting to some expensive-looking tropical getaway, or someone who travels several times a year and has been to 50+ countries, and you’ve only been to five. You might think that your travel experiences are less than those, and that maybe you aren’t worthy of being called a ‘traveler’. Yet there’s no set amount of countries you have to visit in order to rank as a ‘traveler’: if you travel, then you’re a traveler. That person always going somewhere tropical? Maybe they’re getting paid to promote a tourist destination. That person who’s been to 50+ countries? Maybe they’ve made a bunch of sacrifices that allow them to do so. There’s no one ‘right’ way to travel, and the only thing these accounts should be doing is inspiring you to see more, rather than making you feel inadequate about your own experiences.

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So there, those are my lessons so far. I’ve called this ‘Part One’ because I’m sure one day I’ll have further lessons, or I might change my mind on some of these. Until then, though, let me know if you have anything you’ve learned while traveling in the comments below.